Youth Ministry in the Diocese of Delaware

I am blessed (or cursed) with the gift (and compulsion) to take copious notes.  I however am not blessed with the patience to always retype and organize those notes for others.... I can, I just feel like I'm wasting a lot of time.

SO - here are the nuggets I took away from each Saturday Session at YS Palooza in Philly.

JIM BURNS:
> There is a 300% chance a student will remain in church if they have faith conversations at home
> Most parents need a little help with this.  They know it's best and yet they aren't confident that they know how.
> The MOST quoted passage of scripture in America is actually Deuteronomy 6:4-9 - known as the SHEMA and recited multiple times daily in Jewish homes.
> The devil doesn't have to make you bad if he can just make you busy.  We are over-committed and under-connected.  Do you like who you're becoming?  Are you letting who you're becoming kill who you are?
> Take care of yourself - what you do is too important for you not to.

KARA POWELL:
> If Drivers Ed didn’t prepare 6 out of 7 youth to actually drive – you wouldn’t support or invest in it – so what’s different about Youth Ministry.
> We’ve gotten really good at teaching the "Gospel of Sin Management" (– Dallas Willard).  We teach the Christian list of Do’s and Don’ts.  Obedience is important, but faith is not about earning approval – it should be about living a big thank you note back to God.
>When Christian Sudents were interviewed about what it means to be a Christian… 30% made no mention of Jesus in their explanation, and the most common answers expressed “love”
>When there is space for doubt to be freely expressed – doubt becomes less toxic and it creates space for discussion and growth
> Our students are capable of understanding Shakespeare – they read him in school.  Why are we feeding them baby food??
> Sustained faith comes from helping students understand the church is the people inside – NOT the building
> Our students graduate knowing Youth Group – not church.  This makes it really difficult to transition into life after high school.  The  biggest struggles in college are friendships, lonliness, and finding a church
> What would church look like if we flipped the ratio of one adult for every five students to five adults investing in each student?  It’s not about creating new programs – it’s about inviting others into programs that already exist (ex: Men’s group inviting high school boys to their next outing, Asking women’s ministry to help the youth with a dinner fundraiser, ALL-church Church clean up days, letting high school students serve as asst Sunday School teachers (not just nursery baby sitters), intergenerational mission trips and service projects)
> Students need training in how to recover when they make mistakes, how to find a church or fellowship group on campus, how to manage their time and money, and in understanding that their first four days to two weeks at school sets their trajectory

MARV PENNER:
>There are no guaranteed steps but there are principle and presuppositions to working with hurting kids.
            1) Most of our kids hurt far more deeply than we know or they are willing to admit
            2) Most of their pain is the direct result of betrayed trust in  painful or disappointing relationships
            3) Resources for help AND healing exist in the community of faith – but generally remain unused or un-appropriated
            4) True effective journeys towards healing must include Biblical Repentance – not just a turning away from something but also a turning towards someone
>There are two Sources of Pain: Victims have bad things happen to them and Choosers make terrible choices.  But it’s hardly ever that simple – Victims often make bad choices after they are victimized, and Choosers are often victimized after they’ve made some terrible choices.  It creates a cycle that’s hard to escape
> Jesus’ response to hurting people was to always love them as they were and refusing to leave them that way

REGGIE JOINER
> Why is it that you do whatever it is you do it?  We have a tendency to forget how and why we got into this gig.
> The lampstand in the the Tabernacle shone down on bread – it highlighted and emphasized a reminder of God’s provision. 
> Churches often get distracted by things that are not the main thing – and redirect the light on those issues or on themselves.  The lampstand was never meant to shine on itself.  God doesn’t care that JK Rowling wrote another book or that someone else in Hollywood made a sex tape – He cares about why and how the lampstand has been moved and how it’s going to get put back in it’s place.
> When the lampstand drifts it literally sabotages the work He has intended for us to do.
> Our programs at church are not sacred – your mission and your calling are.
> Are you making it easier or harder for this generation to see God?

I am blessed (or cursed) with the gift (and compulsion) to take copious notes.  I however am not blessed with the patience to always retype and organize those notes for others.... I can, I just feel like I'm wasting a lot of time.

SO - here are the nuggets I took away from each session Friday at YS Palooza in Philly....

DUFFY ROBBINS:
> Youth Pastors are dreamers, dreamers that are all too often interrupted by reality  We are called to dream big - by HIS power
> Most Dream Snatchers are concerned with taking sides and whose side everyone is on.  Are any of the side being presented actually on God's side?
> Your present reality my look like pr even be a battleground... but God still sees it as Holy Ground.  He is RIGHT THERE with us in our struggles.

MARK MATLOCK:
> We are a called to be innovators and integrators.
> Every generation has shocked the one before regarding sex and alcohol - that's NOT news.
>Culture is experiencing a Separation of Church from EVERYTHING.  We need to help integrate it again, especially  in a few arenas
a) SEXUALITY: We MUST help our students navigate the waters of sexuality & homosexuality
b) POLITICS: “Christians” have gotten a little too involved with the politics of this place we’re not supposed to call home… and they’re almost never the same as Kingdom Agendas
c) VOCATION: We need to teach students (and a lot of our adults) that you can live excellently, for God’s glory in ANY profession
d) SCIENCE:  Christians don’t have the best track record in playing nicely with this arena.  We've given lots attention to biology but should probably pay a lot more attention to neuroscience

TIC LONG:
> The whys and the whats of our ministries should be grounded in Scripture
> Our true values are revealed by our behaviors
> Former YS President Mike Yaconelli laid out a blueprint to explain, drive, and define healthy youth ministry - dubbed the Core Realities of Youth Ministry.  (They actually grew in popularity and general conscious by the 100-city YS one-day seminar called the CORE)   YS still sells the book and stands behind the blueprint... The Core Realities are 1)Veracity, 2)Authenticity, 3)Audacity, 4) Sanctuary, 5)Diversity, 6)Humility, 7)Intimacy, 8)Mystery & 9) Creativity
>Spiritual growth is, well, spiritual.  That means questions > answers, small > big, slow > fast, discomfort > comfort (times of pain are great opportunities for ministry) and uniqueness > sameness.

HARVEY CAREY:
> Regardless of your title - If you're in this room, or youth follow you - You are called to LEAD Youth.  You're a Youth Leader.
> Your own insecurities might actually be holding some of your students back from their destinies
> CHARACTER is greater than any skill or ability
>  INNER CONFIDENCE - If I do it God's way, He'll always bless me
> DREAM BIG.  Our calendars are full of things we are capable of on our own.  When we dream big - we have to depend on God - and when it happens - He gets all the glory because everyone knows it was beyond our capabilities.

YSPalooza was held a few weekends ago, just outside of Philadelphia in Harleysville, PA at Branchcreek Community Church.  This post is just my review of the event... I'm working on how to concisely share the material shared.

I like to use an old feedback model called Plus Delta. 
Plus: What was good?  Delta: What could use some work/change/revision?   I also like to end on a high note - so I'm sharing my deltas first....

DELTAS:
1) A Friday 1pm start time was rough.   For our paid Youth Ministry People and retired Youth Ministry Volunteers it was no problem.  HOWEVER, most youth leaders in our Diocese are volunteers with full time jobs elsewhere. 

2) Despite my urging to come after work Friday - some found it easier to drive up early Saturday.  It meant some folks were joining in the discussion late - having missed half of the content (from Mark Matlock, Tic Long, Duffy Robbins, and Harvey Carey) :(

3) Our Diocese doesn't understand what it's missing.  We've never had access to such high quality of training... so, it just seems strange and sacrificial but not specifically beneficial.
I don't know how to help change this perception. 

4) I can meet with teams and share/train on the information but I feel a little silly that my "job" can be reduced to giving "book reports."

5) The sponsor commercials were a little overwhelming - but just like on tv at home - you don't HAVE to pay attention.  AND they literally make the program possible... so, yeah, go ahead.  Where's the bathroom again?

PLUSES:
1) Branchcreek was an excellent facility.  Your right, it's not exactly IN Philly - and people coming from afar might be disappointed.  This wasn't for people from afar - it was for folks in close proximity.... Good parking.  Concise Signage.  Clean bathrooms.  Amenities weren't too far away.

2) I am a self proclaimed YS girl and I will admit YS has been on a rocky road the past few years... and I couldn't be more pleased to say this event was the best of who they are.  Some of the sessions were intentional review of trainings past - and some was brand spanking new research.  It was a nice blend.

3) This two day offering is an affordable, around the corner, team oriented alternative to sending one leader all the way to Atlanta for the National Youth Workers Convention. 

4) One option for all - there was no map reading and meandering down halls.  There were no strange report backs from sessions I didn't get to sit in... One room, one session, immediate time to talk about it, AND free snacks and drinks in the lobby over every break.  Simple and Brilliant.

5) The singing.  I still love Starfield. And I loved my first formal introduction to Audrey Assad.  I like it when folks are more about worshiping together than making sure you heard their latest music... and these groups are totally about that.  Their musical styles might not be for everyone - but their hearts were CLEARLY for Christ.

6) The merging of expertise and humility from the front of the room.  These are some of elders of Youth Ministry.  And there were no fancy introductions - if you didn't know who these folks were - you were left to check your program guide.  I questioned it for a half second when one of my leaders asked who someone was - and then I just thought it was kind of classy.

7) The diversity of the room.  There were lots of denominations represented and though there weren't a LOT, there were people of color.  Working with youth is so much more about what we all commonly love - Jesus and young people.  This was most excellent.

7) It was very much a blue print of how I can help train people here... but refer to #4 above.

Growing up my friends that observed Lent gave up things I thought were silly - brown sodas, hamburgers, or jelly beans.  My youth Leader would talk about trying out a new habit for Lent - devotions every day, reading five pages of your Bible every day, prayer before every meal... faith practices we weren't practicing.  Basically, it came across as your new New Year's Resolution and the resolve lasted just about as long.  So, last year was the first time I ever observed Lent or ever heard about Feast Days.  I gave up all beverages but water.  The money I would have spent on other beverages was saved and sent to Blood Water Mission to go towards digging wells in for people that don't have access to clean water.

I think this year I'm going to read & listen more.  I have a  stack of books I haven't made time to read and podcasts I haven't made time to listen to.   I know I want to read Timothy Keller's Prodigal God and Brian McLaren's Everything Must Change.  I've pre-ordered Rob Bell's controversial book Love Wins - due out later this month.  I was also reminded at the Middle School retreat last weekend that never did rewatch The Passion of the Christ after seeing it in the theater.  I recently filled in the gaps of my Nooma collection and still haven't seen them all.  And last week I won a digital download of all the general sessions from Catalyst West.  So in my little cabin in the woods - there will be no tv before 8pm this lent - because that time will be spent letting my Nerd Flag fly.

I like having these 40+ days to prepare for Easter. 

How are you observing Lent this year?

"The Princeton Lectures on Youth, Church, and Culture are designed to foster original scholarship pertaining to youth and the contemporary church. The lectures are delivered as a series at the Princeton Forums on Youth Ministry and are published online annually. Lecturers include scholars who are not directly involved in the practice or study of youth ministry but who can bring the fruits of their respective disciplines to bear on ministry with the young."

In other words... if you're having a bit of a nerdy day and want to engage in some deep thoughts to challenge your mind and soul... you can find all past Youth, Church and Culture Princeton lectures HERE. 

Here's a link to an article that highlights 52 statements Brad Lomenick  made on his blog over the past year regarding the next generation of leaders.  It's some good stuff to chew on.

And just to make sure we share the wealth...
He did a post for leaders in their 40's and 50's in December of 2010.  And last summer he wrote a post for 20 Somethings called Shut Up and Listen (A Tribute to Leaders  40 and Older), and another post on what he's learned about leadership in his 30's that he wish he knew in his 20's.

Mark Oesteicher led i led a late night discussion at the National Youth Workers Convention this past fall on “The Future of Youth Ministry.”  In preparation for that discussion, he emailed a few dozen friends and asked them to complete the sentence, “the future of youth ministry….”  Mark O's been  posting their answers on his blog... with commentary.  

They've been really interesting.  However, as I found out last week by only referencing one of Facebook - they are a set.  Individually they may or may not be able to stand on their own.

episode 1 (searching for the right way)
episode 2 (discipleship, barriers)
episode 3 (intergenerational ministry)
episode 4 (parents)
episode 5 (re-weird-ifying christianity)
episode 6 (the system is broken)
episode 7 (sunshine)

This Christmas, some of my family members were given copies of the coffee table book Blue Planet Run or Nalgene water bottles representing a donation made to Charity: Water. 

Charity: Water was recently showcased on ABC's 2020 in a great piece that also highlighted some of their partners. 

The piece was aired December 17th.  And what came directly after was this mutual admiration society on Twitter and Facebook.  People who tweeted about it were publicly thanked.  Each partner sang the praises of the others and spoke of how every person and every dollar makes a difference. 

It was SO counter intuitive after shopping at the mall and even online.  Buy from us.  No, buy from us.  We'll give you this percentage off.  But we'll give you free shipping...if you spend this much.  And, of course, I looked at all the offers and figured out the best ones... but it was so heart warming to see the entire special on 2020, and especially the plug for C:W.  I haven't met Scott Harrison, C:W's founder - but I did get to hear him share his story and about his life and work on two occasions at Catalyst this year.  I originally heard his story more than a year ago at Rob Bell's Drops Like Stars tour.  You could text a number and $5 would be added to your phone bill and sent to Charity: Water. 

There's just something beautiful and quite Christmas-y about seeing Christians cheering on one another's work and ministries.  If you didn't get to see the clip - check it out.  If you're on twitter - consider following @charitywater  If you're feeling charitable, give to them... $1 gives one person water for an entire year... $20 give them water for the life of the well.  And if you want to do more than that... consider giving up your birthday this year.  Ask people to give your age in $ to them instead.  Their website will totally help you to set it up and carry it out.

Merry belated Christmas.  I hope you're enjoying snow and family and water today.

Friday, December 10th, Integrity held a bullying prevention workshop for people who work with youth - and a candlelight vigil to remember those we've lost recently to suicide at St Peter's parish in Lewes.

Some resources from our time together:
Warning Signs That A Child is Being Bullied
from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Health Resources and Services Administration

Teen Suicide Warning Signs
from Teen Suicide Prevention

 Monitoring Teenage Phones and Facebook
from the July 2, 2010, New York Times Well Blog
by Tara Parker-Pope

Helping Both the Victim and the Bully
from the July 8, 2010, New York Times Well Blog
by Tara Parker-Pope

Effects of bullying worse for teens
From 10/29/04,  NewScientist.com by Helen Phillips

My Child is Being Bullied--
What Should I Do?
From EmpoweringParents.com by Elisabeth Wilkins

How to Deal with Teen Depression
if you are Being Bullied
From Bright Bulb 9/30/10 article by Victoria Rodriguez Baziuk

Oddly enough, or perhaps not so oddly, 12 years ago, I was part of a candlelight vigil in college to remember Matthew Shepherd and join together against hate crime.  Matthew had transferred out just before I arrived at school - so I didn't know him but we shared many friends.  I had been invited to speak at the vigil as a Christian leader on Campus and I don't remember a lot about the evening except being very apologetic more Christians had not come.  Many of my friends couldn't reconcile standing on common ground, against hate, in our school's Chapel, at an event hosted by the Gay & Lesbian Student Alliance. 

12 years later we're still holding vigils for GLBTQ students that have died.  We're not talking about hate crime but bullying, and cyber bullying.  They are the current buzz words.  What's the line between committing a hate crime and bullying?  It's easy to callously say Matthew was beaten and left to die and these students took their own lives... but, how different is that really?  The end result was the stripping of dignity and loss of life, lives even.

It just makes me very sad.  No matter what theology you hold regarding homosexuality - no one deserves to be made to feel that hopeless, alone, or worthless.  Thank you Integrity and St Peter's for a beautiful evening.  I hope and pray that this was my last vigil of this kind. 

I just saw a post today about the newest push back to the  "Good without God" campaign in Fort Worth, TX.  Some local businessmen have paid for this truck to follow around the bus with it's own slogans.  It reads “2.1 billion Christians are good with God,” and “I still love you. — God.”

The atheist line, from what I understand here, is that atheists wanted other atheists to know they weren't alone, especially this holiday season as they get bombarded with religious messages.  I may or may not fully believe that.  There was a time in my life when I'd have just cheered on the local businessmen and not thought much about.  Today, I cringe a little. (why I cringe is further down)

Apparently responses in other cities have also been interesting.... In Detroit (2 ads), Tampa (1 ad), and Sacramento (10 ads) -  ads were vandalized or destroyed.  In Cincinnati, after the landlord received threats, a billboard was taken down.  And in Des Moines, complaints from religious leaders got ads removed and threats of legal action got them put right back up.  I even came across a blog whose response was "Made by God to do good." 

However, the most intriguing response I've heard about (thank you National Youth Worker's Convention & Jeremy Del Rio) has been a student response to rally the largest student led prayer walk in New York City donning shirts that read "God Belongs in My City."  In May 1,500 students marched  8 miles in Manhattan culminating in a flash mob style silent prayer at Grand Central Station.  They kneeled in the lobby for 5 minutes and everyone around - let them.  In October a second march included 2000 students.   

There were some other things going on - it's not just about responding to atheist billboards - but COME ON.  THIS IS AMAZING TO ME.  You can read more about all the factors of this movement here.

I think we respond so quickly sometimes it comes out of strange places inside us and slightly skewed motivations.  We don't think out the consequences.  It comes across as a school yard fight... and unfortunately, The Church, who want to seem to be the victim here still comes across as the bully to those outside (and some inside) the faith.  That's not cool.   It's not speaking the truth in love.  It's not drawing anyone "outside" of the church closer to God. 

What are your thoughts?  How would you respond?  How do you wish other brothers and sisters would reply?  Is it possible to respond without demeaning anyone?